After about four years of using Facebook, I recently dropped off. I shut down my account – cold turkey. And I haven’t been back.
“What? You’re off of Facebook?!?” gasped my friend Marianne, who maintains near-Luddite habits when it comes to social media. “But you were a Facebook addict!”
This was possibly true. While I never actually experienced cold sweats or manic mood swings when I didn’t have access to Facebook, I have to admit that it was starting to feel like a bit of a compulsion to check it numerous times throughout the day. I usually didn’t spend much time on each visit – maybe five or 10 minutes – and usually logged off feeling like I didn’t get much out of it. Yet somehow, I felt compelled to check back – like I might miss some earth-shattering news if I didn’t stay connected to Facebook.
But recently, I started reflecting on how I communicate with other people in my life. Social networking sites like Facebook have brought people together and seemingly, made the world smaller. Which can be good, for obvious reasons – it allows you to feel a sense of connectedness to people in other cities or countries that you might not otherwise have. But I also believe it can also promote an illusionary sense of closeness, and even act as a catalyst to share personal information that you might not otherwise choose to broadcast to the world.
As a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom, it can sometimes be difficult to feel “in touch” with the outside world. When my husband is away on extended work travel and my days are spent shuttling the kids to and from school and activities – or on the days when I’m home taking care of sick kids – I sometimes crave adult conversation. I think this is where Facebook has the potential to dominate – by acting as a quasi ‘lifeline’ for those who have limited mobility. Just think of all the dissatisfied office workers looking for a distraction from the daily grind – Facebook fits the bill.
Ultimately – and at its worst – I think Facebook has the potential to make its users very complacent in their communications. Why pick up the phone when you can whip off a quick note on Facebook? Why mail a card or gift when you can just say “Happy Birthday!” on your sister’s Facebook wall? Why meet for coffee when you’ve already seen your friend’s vacation photos online?
In a culture where convenience is king, the authenticity of some so-called “friendships” can quickly go out the window. To me, tone of voice and body language is important. So is getting a glimpse of a friend’s life – beyond what can be summarized in a one-sentence “status update.”
And so, as I curled up on Marianne’s couch and sipped my herbal tea while we discussed everything under the sun, I felt warmed by the knowledge that I’d made the right decision for me.
mendesmusings 